Behind the Silence

So...there have been a couple weeks of silence on my part. But there is oh, so much, behind the silence. Sometimes you just don't know what to say. Sometimes you can't say what you want to say. Sometimes you wish there was something you could say, but you just don't know what. So you just wait.

Life is tough. Times are hard. It may not be what you see. It may not be what you hear, even if you ask her. It may not be what you read in this space. But it's there. Lurking. Behind the silence. Behind what didn't get said. Behind the "fine", "hanging in there", "can't complain". It's not anyone's fault. But it's there, and it's deeply personal. The good thing is: Jesus is there, too. Even and especially when we don't know what to say. Just say Jesus. Whisper it. Shout it. Cry it. Laugh it. Believe He is there. Believe He is listening. Believe in His promises. Believe He knows, He remembers, He ordains, and He orchestrates the milliseconds of our moments. Just. Pray. The battle is not over. 

The update: 

As you may remember, Wendy got her drain removed after receiving the "all clear" for her seroma 2 weeks ago. Her radiation oncologist wanted to be certain to give her body time to fully heal before rescheduling the casting and scheduling appointment for radiation. You know. For the 3rd time. 

This appointment is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, and I couldn't possibly stress enough that Wendy needs a GREEN LIGHT from her Dr. to get this party started! Sure, there is a little uncertainty. How will she feel? Will there be fatigue? Will her skin hold up? Oy vey- DAILY trips to the cancer center for 6 weeks. But she needs to finish this. She needs to say, "I beat cancer" and have WEEKS and MONTHS between her and another trip to Siteman Cancer Center. PRAY for a green light! No other color will do! And, while we are praying for a "GO", let's also pray for CONVENIENT appointment times and great logistics! Her appointment has to be at the same time each day, and with 3 kids and busy schedules, they would prefer 8:30am. Could you join me in praying for 8:30am!? 

Please also continue to pray for Wendy's overall health. So far, our friends sodium and potassium are behaving without supplements, and we would love for them to stay that way! She is also steadily getting some hair back. Ruby is still holding out hope that it is going to look just like hers, though an afro seems highly unlikely! Generally,Wendy is healing nicely, and feeling stronger each day. 

Pray also, specifically: 

• for Wendy's energy level to hold strong. NO FATIGUE during radiation.
• for Wendy's skin to remain healthy during radiation. NO RASHES, NO BURNING, NO SENSITIVITY! 
• for convenient scheduling and easy, quick daily treatments that do not interrupt too much of their day.
• for, generally, NO MORE CANCER!!
• for Andy, Hal, and Nancy as they accompany her to treatments. 
• for Andy as he balances work and family while walking alongside Wendy.
• for the kids as Wendy enters a new, uncertain phase of treatment. New stuff is scary! 
• for Taylor as she battles some additional health concerns, and Andy and Wendy as they care for her.

Finally, friends, just pray for the things I didn't say. The things that are just hard. The things that are just ugly. The things that are too scary to ponder. The things that are deeply personal. The things I don't even know about myself. You don't even have to know what they are. Because He does. Just say Jesus.

Blessings to each of you. You have been faithful to pray on this journey. You have been faithful to love. To be worried. To wonder. To ask. To hug. To send a note. To buy a shirt. To wear a bracelet. To tell others about this warrior friend you have. DO. NOT. STOP. Behind the silence God is still working.

K

...an excerpt from "Behind the Scenes of Silence" by Jennifer Crawford Walker:

"Right where we are…At this very moment…On this specific day…In this exact place…During this particular season of life…God is not dormant. He is working, building, preparing, and making the way for His answer to our immediate prayers, and to our lifelong ones.

In this period of “silence”, God is working behind the scenes, setting the stage for Jesus, who will make Himself known and glorified as He changes and blesses our lives, and the lives of others, through the work He is doing this very moment – that seems silent to us.

The same is true for you today. Wherever you are…Here you are…At this very moment…On this specific day…In this exact place…During this particular season of your life… God knows, God remembers, God ordains, and God orchestrates the milliseconds of your moments.

And God is working, building, preparing, and making the way for His answer to your immediate prayers, and to your lifelong ones. He is stetting the stage for Jesus, who will Glorify Himself and bless you and those around you through the work He is doing this very moment… Even if it seems like a lot of silence to you…

May the Lord bless you and strengthen you in your times of “silence”, my friends. Because one of these days, the curtain will rise… the silence will be broken… and you and I will have some awesomely true stories to tell of all of God’s works. He will be honored by us and honored through our testimonies.

Hang in, and hang on… God is working behind the scenes of silence!

“But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God and made Him my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.” Psalm 73:28